its still fairly early for me to even be thinking about going to bed... but when youre the ONLY one up in the house... and SOO damn wide awake.. its rather annoying that sleep wont come to you.

Grrr.. Thats what I get for giving into that horrible need for a midday nap. I cant help it though.. My body literally feels as though its draggin and I cant keep my eyes open, they burn and water begging for sleep...and the rest of my body threatens to pass out on its own if I dont lay myself down for an hour or two. Hell I even get this feeling of sleep nausia if I push myself to go another hour before I finally give into sleep. REsult? Me, being here.. typing about how I want to go to bed! BAH!

I talked to my Doc (thereapist I guess you would call her) and she suggested its probably my body still trying to recover from the miscarriage, things arent quite back to norm on a chemical level.. (that's kinda a no brainer) but that if it persists through the next month to go see my Dr. and test for a possible thyroid prob. Ugg.

Speaking of my Dr. I guess I can actually reschedule that abdominal CAT scann she originally wanted to do just before we found out I was pregnant. might as well. right? I'm not prego anymore.. and I've grown slightly accostumed to all the Poking prodding and exams I've been going through these past months, why not get some addional radiation exposure? ( that was sarcasim :).

Maybe I'll be lucky and actually have them figure out what the hell is going on with my sides. Dont get me wrong.. I love LOVE LOVE it when all my tests come back clean.. but its kinda bittersweet really. "Why, my dear, everything checks out just fine."
Uh.. yeah.. GREAT... so.. Why the hell am I hurting so bad then? I dont care what they say I'm pretty positive that its something to do with my kidneys, and would be rather suprised if it was something else. But at this point I'll accept anything that EXPLAINS what the CAUSE is.

I've been offered pain meds.. but why? for what? What is that doing other than making the 5 minute MAX pain numbify til the next time?? Its not solving the problem.. just treating the symptoms. I want to know and treat the cause! I'll just suffer through my brief moments of hurts. For the time being I can handle it.

Uhh.. where was I before I went on my lil rant?...Oh yes.. Sleep and how I desperately long for it to come to me.

I've done the tea... I've considered taking the hot bath with no lights (COMPLETE darkness or a single candle-lit shower is normal for me, the lights, colors and images of the day wear on my eyes, the Darkness or near darkness gives them a break and takes away any distractions allowing me to completely relax) but I'm just not in the mood to get in the water again today/night.

Blah blah blah blah blah...

here I am again, talking but not of anything substantial. I've had about 3 entries that I wanted to type, especially after this last week... and instead of getting those out i'm here whining that I cant sleep. WTF?!?! *rolls eyes at self*

*stops typing to play with hair for a few minutes while checking to see if anyone is online that I actually want to start up a conversation with... and there isnt at the moment. too bad.*

*not related to anything ramblings recommenced*

Got my hair cut not too long ago. its short!! and, amazingly I like it. So When I say short.. I mean short for me. the bottom hits my shoulders and they layered it. What makes the whole thing really neat.. is that my hair is naturally Strawberry blond, and a year ago I attempted to get it dyed black, but because my hair was so light and red it turned into this red brown kinda color. I've been growing it out for just over a year now and to blend in Whats growing in with the brown that I'm growing out I've added blond streaks. NOW... This chick cut 10 inches off and layered it. and It looks like I have brown underneath the red/blond. Its cool.. I Love it. LOL.

I wish I was ballsy enough to cut it really short. I dont think I can pull it off though. Maybe I could If I lost some more wieight. My goal is 35 lbs still. things are just now STARTING to settle down to where I can get back over to the gym.. we'll see what happens.

Lets see... what else and I blabber about that has no real importance?? Hmm.. Oh Oh.. I bought some patches at hot topic today. YEAH...We got Foamy, an Amy Brown Faery to add to my strawberryshortcake patch that I'm planning on sticking onto either a pain of pants OR my backpack... Most likely my pack I think... BUT WE Shall See *giggles*

Saw Napolean Dynamic (sp) tonight. made me laugh.. and for some reason got me thinking about Monty Python... hmmm.. maybe I need to have a Monty Movie night hehe... I've only seen 1 maybe two. hehe.. Maybe I'll toss in some Mr. Bean to!!!! Oh Gawd!! There is going to have to be a bottle of buttershots and irish cream nearby inorder to completely surive the crazyness.

ANything else to say? *taps upperlip with finger* Oh I have new glasses too, yeah.. keeeewl huh :-P.......

okay.. thats enough of the spacey, talkinng too much girl for the night... I'm going to ATTEMPT to sleep now. Sweet dreams to all.