Totally rando, and gets a little... ok really weird. My Apologies....

Still awake and still havent done any homework. What is wrong with me? I just want to go somewhere, crawl into a little dark corner and cry... REALLY really Cry.

I cant sleep, I'm soo stressed, and I feel utterly alone, useless, unwanted and weak.

I've been spending these last few hours in a sort of a daze.

Shorty talked with me online for a lil bit. but as much as I wanted to talk. I just couldnt.

I need to go away, I feel like I'm suffacating. I have so many wonderful things happening in my life and yet, I feel something is lacking. maybe if I can get away, my thoughts will clear up. I dont need just my thoughts to clear, I need this weight on my heart to be lifted.

I feel so selfish.

I feel alone.

I feel I have no choice.

I just for one day, want to say fuck it all. and run.

*hanging head in shame*

Its wrong for me to feel this way.

isnt it?

*sigh* I dont know who I am or what I want anymore.

There was someone who once was mine. and he treated me in such ways that I cant even begin to describe. I loved him with every ounce of my very being.

my time with him was short.

my heart still has the scar.

one that I was so certain had healed.

more like I convinced myself with illusions of the mending.

weeping wounds, seeping ties

have I been living in delusion of lies?

I dont know, whats going on, I'm so torn. I'm only a mere shell of my once self.

*whispers* Help.