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So a lil about me....I'm married to my high school sweetheart, and now have three sons, Devon, Thalen, Dadrin (Dade)and a little girl, Celestine

I'm also a Freelance Graphic Designer & Illustrator. I LOVE my work. :-)

Well... lets see what else? I'm Hella shy, til I get to know the person, then I'm chattier than hell. I'm always willing to make new friends, but am a bit particular about which friends I get close too and keep in my life for the long haul.

I think I'm in a hangout mode in my life right now, occasional parties are GREAT, but I like to just kick back, have a nice toasty warm beverage, coffee, tea, hot coco (with marshmallows of course!)and hangout with my friends.

Tired, Drained with Alot Of Work

2005-03-21 - 8:21 a.m.

WElp I think the title just about says it all. Its finals week and in two days the testing shall be commenced. And here I am, once again, procrastinating by writing a Journal entry instead of reading, studying, memorizing and writing my 6-12 page paper (on business Ethics BLEH). *Sigh*

I'm slighly in a bit of an emotional haze at the moment too with a twist of frustration (heh, sounds like a cocktail doesnt it?). Joe and I are doing well considering the crap that has happened... all crap thats my fault and of my doing. But He's still struggling with things (rightly so). and Me... I dont know. I feel like I should be struggling morel. But I'm not. *deep sigh* I just dont know. I've come to the conclusion lately, that just because we dont respond to certain things the way we "think" we should or the way that we were "taught" (witnessed, heard stories of, ect) doesnt mean that we dont care or that how we are feeling or reacting is wrong or bad. Its just different.

Once I used to love interpretation and analyzing all things. But now, with all discussiions and how often I myself have had to do it. I'm sick of it and I feel that its pointless. All you're doing is creating "possibilities" for an explaination until you find the one that seems to expalin and be the most acceptable and justifyable to yourself. It may have truths to it. Pieces are universal and will apply to the whole, but mostly its only what you percieve to be what you are willing to accept as the "whole" potential truth.

There are just too many factors...that can be easily missed or overlooked. thus slanting any conclusion one can draw from any argument or intpretation.

Crap! this is getting pointless and I dont want to contemplate this any longer. (I doubt its making any real sense anyways).

Changing topic....

I'm tired. and am feeling rather physically uncomfortable at the moment. Which is to be expected since I am having my first real period since I miscarried back in January. *sarcastically* Oh the joys of being a girl.
On the plus side.. at least there arent any major cramps this time around. guess my uterus thought it would cut me some slack this time around seeing how I was extremely uncomfortable for quite awhile during and after the miscarrige...again, that was sweet.

Gawd I'm just taking all kinds of tones today arent I?
I'm bitchy, sarcastic and so on here in this entry. Content and loving with Joe, Goofy, playfully sarcastic and talkative with Raven. I'm just all over the damn board of emotions.

nice

okay.... I thought I'd have more to "contmplate" and type than what I have done. I felt more focused while I'm OBVIOUSLY am not. So, that being said I'm jsut gonna end this entry and call my sons martial arts school and figure out what needs to be done for his testing. Then I'm gonna take a shower, and a nap (procrastinate procrastinate) and THEN Start doing my school work.
Mood: exhausted

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