DAMMIT I'm soo tired! and I really shouldnt be. I went to bed at a decent time and I've gotten nearly 8 and a half hours of sleep. And yet I know that come 2 or 3 I'll be ready to pass out again. I'm sure it has to do with the miscarriage, nearly positive... but shouldnt things be back to normal by now? its been 2 months... Maybe not. I dunno.

Lauren (counseler) told me that if its continues into a third month that I need to to get it checked back out. *grumble* *mimicks whining* I dont want to have to go back to the Dr. office though! I hate Dr's. I always feel like its a waste of time. Hears my 15$ and 30 minutes of my time, and what do I get? 5 actual minutes with the dr who tells me what I already know, and a piece of paper for some antibiotics and THATS if I'm lucky. soemtimes they'll say, "Yep.. were're not sure... but if it gets worse come back." and they skoot ya out the door just as empty handed as you were before!!!

gotta LOVE the medical industry!

WEll I was right about yesterday, I only got about half of the things that I wanted to done. But thats ok.. I feel that the time spent playing with my 5 year old outside is far more important. And it felt great to to be out in the nice weather, not attached to a computer.

Today is gonna be one of those "once you start running you dont stop til its ALL over and you collaspe on the the couch" days. dev has a check up at 11:15, then we'll run some random errands that should get done while we are out, come home so I can work on more homework for tomorrows classes, leave at 2:00 for devs soccer camp which gets out at 3:30, then head over to his karate at 4:00 come home at 5. and down I go again to do more homework when all I want to do is get in 30 minute nap!!! It doesnt sound like alot. But its AMAZING how fast the time flys. I'm glad that tuesday is the only day thats this busy.

its 9am now (I have the wrong time set on my diary, it was an accident!!! anywho so my diary time is one or 2 hours ahead of my actual time). Dev is still sleeping. I'm typing here, kinda sporatically talking with my friend burn online, and hubby and I are messaging back and forth (I'm using my email and he's usuing his txt pager).

I wish I could find a way to help hubby get out of the emotional rut that he's in. I try.. and we both talk ALOT. I dont think he even knows at the moment what it is that could help him start the healing process. *sigh* I feel horrible about it all, cause its actually my fault this time that he's hurt. and the things that have occured to cause him this pain... just weren't worth it. and I wish that certain part never happened!! . Ontop of it all he came home from work ealry yesterday feeling sick! he passed out as soon as he got home, got up to eat dinner and then fell asleep on the couch again while dev and I watched his Harry Potter Movie (Prisoner of Azkaban). Dev didnt make it through the movie, he passed out 3/4 of the way into it. I finished it up. and then put my boys (son and hubby) to bed.

Tomorrow is gonna suck. My Inlaws are going to be coming over, and I'll be gone to class *pouts* (Yes I love my in-laws we get along awesomely, they treat me as one of their own, they are wonderful and enjoyable people, I consider them to be my second set of parents ) I wish I could skip.. But alas.. If I miss anything more than two days that I've already been gone for, then its an aoutomatic fail. and I've been working far to hard to fail this term.

WEllllll.... I think on that note... I should get my arse back into school work gear that way I dont have to spend the evening working on it, whn I could be spending the time with hubby after he gets home from work.
Mood: waking up.. not quite sure of my mood yet!