SO Awake I now am (its 8:30am)... early for me.. but thats ok, I dont mind. I have quite a bit to do both house wise and with the lil guy.

My mother called me yesterday to ask if I can come over today to help my sis with her hair for pictures that shes going to have taken with my friend Raven. I told her That if I hear back from my Doc in time that I'll do the best that I can. REally though I dont know if I will (hear from the office and beable to make the hour and a half drive intime) I think she was also trying to use Raven as a motivator or perk to come up. It would be great to see her.. but with the crap that we are all trying to heal from and the fact that Tarthe (her hubby) actually has been making an effort to try and mend things, I dont wanna push anything by showing up and "suprising" her. They are too important to me to take that kind of a chance.

Anywho.. onto the doctors stuff and what I'm waiting for. firstly results of blood work, and a sort of a finalization of info for my CAT Scan which is tenitively this thursday. After having the excruciating pain in my side about a week or so ago which has been pretty much constant lately now with or without the consumption of water, I finally was motivated to head back to the doc.

I guess something about not being able to walk and falling to your knees trying to hold back the screams so that you dont scare you child tells you its time to go back again.. even though you know after years of ultra sounds, blood work and urine sampling that they most likely still wont find anything. Which is great right cause it means that youare fine.. but its horrible becuase you still have this excruciating pain that the docs want to just treat the symptoms of instead of finding the cause. (I have refused medications, because by the time I have the pain and take a pill the hurt will have subsided,.. it RARELY ever lasts anything longer than 5 minutes at its worst.. for the lesser most common pain it lasts between 30 seconds to 2 minutes. so popping a pill wouldnt even help, cause it would be gone by the time the drugs kick in).

I'm convinced that its has something to do with my kidneys. because the only way to make the pain subside is to pee. I also know that my mother (as a young child)and her father (in his later teens) had juvinlie Kidney diesase and that either his father passed away from Brights Disease. so kidney probs run in the family... making it, along with my symptoms not all that far stretched.

Well enough talkings for the moment. the lil guy finally wants some breakfast.. so off I run.