I dont think I could explain it any more clearly than what it says in that title.

Things happened and its not as I thought it would have happened... I never thought that any big and or lil part of the puzzle pieces that make the build up called "Kelly's Life" would have been put together in such a fashion...

Gawd its soo weird not having written anything in here for nearly two weeks...

There truley is so much for me to say... so much for me to talk about... I naturally want to sit here and play catch up describing it all... all the good.. all the awesome...and all the bad.

But I honestly dont know if I have the patience with even myself to do it. a seemingly developing theme for me over the last 3 weeks. Ever since I headed out to MA I just didnt have any real desire to sit at a puter at all... and now... I'm still feeling very much of the same way... infct it is literally days before I do sy ... hmmm.. guess I should check the emails and things... and if I dont get too distracted with the lil guy or Joe and I fall into another conversation then I'll manage my way over to either a Laptop upstairs...or sometimes down to the puter room... which now only has 4 puters running (hubby shut down the other 10...not at my request).

I want to go into things over the last few weeks... but I dont think this entry is going to allow or become that. I think I need to let my mind thoughts and fingers just ramble and allow to poor out anything they choose... which no doubtedly will not be deep or too emotional in any manner.

*breaks to help dev in the tub*
*hobbles back into with pinky toe that is now throbbing*

Well that was fun.. while in my efforts to help the lil guy out I crack my damn toe on the crate stool thing that he has in there... great.. lets just add that to one more part of my body that isnt doing all too wonderfully hot now too. Ugggg...

I have another appointment today with My "you're a quack" Dr. ... it will be the second one I've gone too since I've come home.

GRRRRRRRRRRR... okay... this spacey thing thats happening inside the brain... yeah.. soo not cool, it can go away now. yes.. right now... looks around humms a few random notes while waiting for it to clear...nope still not yet... taps fingers along side of keyboard...still nothing.. *sigh* guess its planning on sticking around for a while then eh?

I had a weird dream lastnight/this am.... all I can remember is that there was myself, the lead "explorer" person, my friends loren, elf, ryan, david (a friend from california whom I havent seen since my freshman year in H.S) and a few other peoples.. whiney preppy girls who I didnt know... and someone else....*thinks* nope cant remember who it was...anyway theres more to the story than this... but the part I remember the most is that the leader and I get to this part on our mission to where we were needing to climb this white stone hill/mountian...which had a natuaral pathwy and was almost stair likeall the way though....as we got higher its started to get hotter.. somewhat near the top there was an active volcano.. burping and bubbling red hot glowing gooey substance. We climbed on through the heat.. which was nearly searing.. and at times we both felt our own skins were going to start just bubbling right off. til finally we made it to the other side of the mountain... where it was clear and cool...with an additional blue cast laying to everything... in the oceanic waters of the valley that lay out before us ws a fleet of stone grey military ships.. ships that we were told that would save us, but really were there to ensure ours, and any other living being on this island of sorts, death. but we trudged onward.. looking for some lost child (which later became children). a precious little girl. to find her and return her home, was this mission...we knew she was there... so we quickly hurried our way back down the mountain to our team... set camp up for the night... would spend the next day traveling across the mountain and come back across with the children late the next night. the first night of camping Elf and I were laying in sleeping bags next to one another.. when Loren came over and asked me if I'd like a drink. "nah I'm really sleey right now" "are ya sure?" he says as he places a small yellow crisp piece of paper in my hand... which has the recipie for a 4 chocolate martini.. my eyes pop open as he tells me that he only has one of the 4 choclate flavors.. I wake up elf to join in the happiness of the drinks..........

theres a tiney bit more that I remember.. but I keep getting pulled away or distracted with additional wandering thoughts and I'm not really wanting to type anything else right now.

Gah.. I feel like this was a waste of time and of an entry... there more important things to get out... if only they would just come out.. then maaaaybe my mind would clear up...*sigh* oh wells maybe hopefully anothertime