Mood: I guess I'm ok... teetering back and forth between content... and severely depressed. leaving me with a feeling of unstability

I�ve really been separating myself from everyone and everything lately� and I didn�t even realize it or the extent of it til Shawn and I talked today.

Maybe its because I have been soo stressed out and am just now realizing I can have some alone time just to myself.

Maybe its because I really want to try and focus on my �Who am I� entries (In the process of writing a second one)

Maybe its because I�m So Fucking nervous about the trip out back east.

Maybe its cause I am questioning my life as it is

Maybe its because I�m questioning my marriage

Maybe its because I sometimes feel soo Damn lost about who I am

If I�m feeling lost about myself.. How can I know what it is that I want and need?

Maybe I just need attention
Maybe not TOO much attention..
I Feel like a teeter totter� that�s ready to break

I doubt anyone can completely understand
I don�t doubt that those who I love and who love me want to help and want to try to understand.

There are friends and people who say I can come talk to them whenever I need. And that they�d be more than happy to be there how ever they can be for me. But I know that these individuals have enough on their own plates� I don�t want to become a nuisance and I don�t want to be bothersome.

I internalize too much�
I think soon� very soon I�ll be finding out just how much more I can really take.

Sometimes I feel so near to breaking� But I�m just too stubborn� I�m not ready� and I Wonts......Not yet.