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So a lil about me....I'm married to my high school sweetheart, and now have three sons, Devon, Thalen, Dadrin (Dade)and a little girl, Celestine

I'm also a Freelance Graphic Designer & Illustrator. I LOVE my work. :-)

Well... lets see what else? I'm Hella shy, til I get to know the person, then I'm chattier than hell. I'm always willing to make new friends, but am a bit particular about which friends I get close too and keep in my life for the long haul.

I think I'm in a hangout mode in my life right now, occasional parties are GREAT, but I like to just kick back, have a nice toasty warm beverage, coffee, tea, hot coco (with marshmallows of course!)and hangout with my friends.

The Calming of My Inner Storm

2004-07-08 - 11:51 p.m.

Entry 4...last for "today"

Feeling SOO much more stable. almost normal even... it took Shawn, Burn and Sky to get me here...(and they didnt even realize they were doing it)I'm thankful for that and them. They had a blast over there and I had a great time chattering with them all. *happy sigh* good times.

For the moment I no longer feel as though I'm being tossed around by the wild and cayotic ocean currents. The waves are calma I am only drained... funny thing is that I feel like It was more than just my own energy that had been drain out of me. No matter, just a side note of observation.

I dont know how to prevent these episodes. or if theres really anyway to control them at all. They are not unfamiliar to me. I talked to Devil earlier today and asked him what his medical experiences were with the treatments he recieved for similar things. his Answer Meds... and horrible ones at that. I've already talked about my midecation issue. I wonder if counseling would help? maybe up my dose of St. John Wort? I havent been taking it steadily for awhile now... maybe thats part of it. I'm horrible with pills, and Joe never remembers. *sigh*

Alright, I need to talk about something else... I'm soo horrible when I'm alone. not comforted. I need to cuddle and have my head neck and face touched. always relaxes me, I would totally be able to sleep if I could get joe to do that for me...yeah right. *chuckles* I swear I'm like a cat soemtimes...just feed me and pet me and I'll purr forever.

Well That be all for now. Joe and I are gonna take Dev to the beach tomorrow and hang out, fly kites and such. should make for a nice day. I dont even want to talk about saturday...yet.

Off to bed to try to sleep and dream. *whimpers* if my sides will allow it to be.

Sweet Dreams and Happy Day to all my friends. *hugs*

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