Ok.. so once again I should be doing homework.. but whatever. I have other things I want to jabber about.

I just got done talking with my friend online today, and he, well he's not doing very well. I hate knowing that someone I love and care for is hurting and I cant do a damn thing about it.I cant even comfort him with a simple hug, cause he lives on the other side of the country.

Words dont come to me easily anymore... I've lost but am attempting to relearn the ability to speak with meaning. due to just not having been surrounded with people who actually TALK beside the regular ho hum. ITs frustrating.. cause that not how I am... or at least not how I used to be. *peeling at the layers of the box I've consealed parts of my true self in* So I just become a silent blank screen in the chat window. I know how I feel and what I want to say to help maybe ease their hearts or minds slightly even if only for a brief moment. Its horrible I can't the friend I want to be. *sigh*

Hopefully he see's that I am trying and am sincere in my silence. not just some numb skulled blank minded chic sitting at the other side of the screen.

*Deep sigh*

Theres more to me than meets the eye.

But the past has smacked my hand,

So I've learned to be silent and contained. Wondering when I will ever be free.

I forgot I put this song on...les mis - on my own I dont know what it is with me lately, but I've really been into the hoplessly romantic I love you songs. Moulin Rouge - Come what may is on now... I love Ewan McGregor's voice. Heck I LOVE Ewan.. he has such beautful eyes and a GORGEOUS smile.... Oh yes I'd do him if given the opportunity.. but then again I'm sure there arent too many other girls out there who wouldnt. I wonder about the kinda person he is in Real life.. actually I wonder that about anyone that I dont know.

Theres more for me to talk about. but Suzi is getting ready to go see Shrek 2 and wants dev and I to come. We've seen it once already. But I think it'll be a nice break. come home and do my layout. I need to pick up some paper a magnifying glass and mounting board (30.5x 15"). ok Gonna get dev ready, show starts soon.

There will be more later